The Purge (2013) - Horror Film Review

I love the idea behind The Purge, it is something I had kinda come up with independently and great minds do think alike.  There are few films better worth seeing on the big screen than horrors.

In 2022 unemployment, crime and violence are at an all time low, the government known as 'the new founding fathers' have passed a radical act. Once a year for a 12 hour period crime becomes legalised in order for the populace to work off their aggression on each other. James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) is a successful home protection sales man with a loving wife and two children, Him and his wife Mary are firm believers in the purge initiative and expect to face no trouble as the purge starts and they lock down their house in their rich suburban neighbourhood. However their annoying son Charlie takes pity on an injured homeless man begging for help and lets him into the house...only the man has been followed. Now the house is surrounded by a group of masked rich kids who demand the man be given to them or they will break down through the defences and kill everyone inside. With a series of terrible events making James rethink his approval of the purge he decides to stand and fight rather than give the innocent man over.

Ethan Hawke with this and Sinister is fast becoming one of my favourite actors. Here he is again fantastic giving real depth to James whose beliefs are questioned and whose real desire to protect his family at all costs can be seen through his fantastic acting. Special mention must also go to Rhys Wakefield  as the face and voice of the masked strangers, immaculately dressed in a suit and well spoken his barely contained rage and madness is delightful to watch, his creepy as all hell grin is fantastic but never straying from being crazily polite. One point in which he calmly executes an over zealous member of his gang before saying to James (to paraphrase) "Now I just killed him and he was my friend, you, you I don't even know". It is hard such to believe Wakefield came from the Australian soap Home and Away; not really known for its amazing acting. Also on the soap front daughter Zoey is played by Adelaide Kane who was a main character in the other Australian soap Neighbours also not known for great acting but who here does as good a job as possible with the stupid character she is given.

I loved the idea for the film even if it did feel a bit similar to Assault on Precinct 13 with its near identical plot. Before the house is breached the air is thick with tension, I wanted to leave the cinema as the tension was killing me, I couldn't bare the anticipation of the horrors to come. This is milked for all its worth, mostly through montages of the strangers creepy antics shown through the cameras monitoring the outside of the house. Their masks are of smiling people, very sinister. When the breach occurs the action comes thick and fast with the tension sizzling out as the strangers act with a frenzy that leaves them prone to ridiculous mistakes, these are not intelligent people regardless of what the polite stranger says. A later plot twist was an interesting decision, I am on the fence on if it worked or not but I did not expect some of it.

Being a 15 there is not much blood or violence really to speak of which is not that big a deal, what takes away from the film is little annoyances based on my preferences. If I lived in a world that has the purge I would certainly make sure I was suitably protected, I guess it is down to the arrogance of James that he is not despite him knowing the security systems he sells are not 100% fool proof. I would design a security system that would torch anyone coming onto my property, but hey, that's just me! The children Zoey and Charlie are super annoying also, didn't care about those idiots.

The tension of the first 40 minutes is quickly dissipated by the fast action that follows, just too many times a character is about to be killed before they are saved at the last second by someone off screen, at least three or four times this happens, it becomes kinda predictable by the end. Still, I think this is worth seeing.

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The Edge of Hell (1987) - Horror Film Review

I used to have a friend who would put this film on constantly as background noise, it looked very cheesy and I watched enough to find out the twist but never paid much attention to it. One day she chucked all her VHS tapes out, as in literally chucked them out, they were all in black bin bags outside her flat. Knowing she had some awesome horrors in her collection I rooted through the bags in the pouring rain and liberated a few including this gem. The Edge of Hell is known in America as 'Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare' just so you know.

After a opening sequence in which a family are terrorised by a demon/zombie thing living in a cooker a glam rock and roll band turn up at a house and barn to record some new material for their forth coming album.  The band is called Tritan and is led by singer John Triton (played by Jon Mikl Thor who also wrote all the songs for the film). In between band practice and a glut of sex scenes the group are slowly picked off one by one by demons until just Triton is left but that's when the twist comes in...

Sometimes films are so terrible that they are fantastic. Manborg did that, but then Manborg set out to do that as its goal, with The Edge of Hell though I think it must have been purely accidental what with it being a film of the 80's. It was filmed in a week for starters, just 7 days and the actors if you can call them that are hilariously terrible, very wooden, my favourite being the 'English' drummer whose accent makes me think he had never heard an English person speak before! When demons appear the usual course of action is to stand still and scream until killed, usually the demon starts off quite some distance away so is funny every time this occurs.

The demons in this film have to be seen to be believed, a load of hand puppets for the most part, and latex effects, quite hilarious. The end sequence in which a load of flying starfish monsters attack someone is astounding as the victim holds the pathetic looking things onto his skin and wrestles with them as if they had latched on. Spoiler! - The big demon at the films end is hilarious and features in one of the most pathetic good vs evil fights I have ever witnessed. After some weak school boy grappling it gives up and retreats back to Hell. The films epic showdown can't help but be one sided as it appears no one is actually puppeteering the monster at all.

Now Jon Mikl Thor was reportable a big glam rock star of the 80's so it is no wonder the film is full of sex, drugs and rock and roll (well actually no drugs, one of the films messages is only monsters do drugs...or something like that). It often feels like one big music video with the group listening to rock music whenever they are not playing and have two entire songs they themselves play in the film. A lot of sex scenes, very badly done, funny at times, other times awkward. Worst sex scene goes to Triton and his girlfriend in a shower, they stay bizarrely dry for the most part and interact like two people who have never seen another human in their life.

I loved this film, it is hilarious with some pitiful acting that made me smile like a loon. Definitely a film of its time, well worth a watch!

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My version with equally awesome box art!

The Cottage (2008) - Horror Film Review

The Cottage is a British made horror flick that has a handful of great actors in it. Andy Serkis is a fantastic one, and Reece Shearsmith is a master of dark comedy. The trailer to this film did not make me want to see it but it does accurately reflect the tone of the film.

The Cottage starts with two brothers; David (Serkis) and Peter (Shearsmith) arriving at a cottage in the English countryside after kidnapping Tracey who is the step daughter of David's rich boss in order to get £10,000 as ransom. The boss's son Andrew is also in on the plan but unwittingly reveals to his boss's men the location the kidnappers are at. During a comedy of errors the kidnappers all get accidentally revealed to the kidnapped girl and eventually Peter ends up being in turn kidnapped by her and taken to a remote farm house. Exasperated David and dozy Andrew head off after them. The owner of the farmhouse however is psychotic and all four find themselves in mortal danger from the leatherface lookalike.

This is quite a disjointed film with distinct feelings to them. The first half is a dark comedy, the whole kidnapping situation is quite funny, every single thing that could go wrong does go wrong; Peter keeps accidentally calling his brother by his name in front of the girl, she keeps escaping and beating the trio up, the ransom money Andrew thinks he has gotten is actually a case full of tissue paper, and finally Peter and Andrew walk in on Tracey forgetting to put on their balaclavas. All funny stuff in a dark sense. Peter and David are not heroes, but neither are they true villains, they have goals they want to get and have no intention of actually causing the girl harm.

The 2nd half of the film can only be described as grim and violent, almost to torture porn territory, each of the four characters gets terribly injured right off the bat; one gets half their foot sliced off, one is stabbed through the stomach, one gets their leg caught in a bear trap, while the last gets a pick axe through the leg all relatively early into the battle against the psychotic farmer. For the most part this part of the film is far more serious with a misguided attempt every now and again to inject some humour into things but which feels out of place. The effects are well done and really made me grimace.

It really doesn't seem like the two half's gel together well, almost like the director couldn't decide if he wanted a comedy or a horror and not settling on either very well. I can't complain about the effects but can about the lazy plot, nasty characters (Jennifer Ellison as Tracey is super irritating) and bad guy who just doesn't come across as that exciting a villain. Not a bad ending it has to be said though.

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One Missed Call (2008) - Horror Film Review

I loved the premise for this film so have long wanted to see it. This is actually based on an Asian film of the same name, it feels like an Asian film in that it shares many similarities with The Grudge and The Ring.

A girl dies days after receiving a missed call on her phone that had a creepy voice mail message that sounded it was like herself speaking. Her friend then gets a similar call, again it sounds like herself talking and again she dies a few days later at the time specified in the answer phone message. Beth seeing her friends die off one by one by the same method becomes convinced something bad is happening, she teams up with Detective Jack Andrews whose sister died in similar circumstances to find a way to stop the chain of death, quite the task seeing as how she has just received a similar deadly message on her phone...

The similarities of this to The Ring and Boogeyman are so striking that it was impossible not to get a heavy feeling of deja-vu when watching. I loved the idea of the victim receiving a soundbite of how they would die on their phone days before it happened but not enough was really done to explore this better. No one attempts to analyse how they would die and try to prevent it, no one even seems to make an effort to not say the words they were saying when they died. If I had some creepy as hell message of me saying some thing I had yet to say I would sure as heck take a vow of silence or something to make sure it didn't come true! Knowing the exact time of death put it in line with The Ring where the victims in that film also know the time of their death.

A lot of the special effects are done using CGI, not good CGI at that, seeing a giant millipede burrow into someones hand via the wonders of computer generation made me sad, it looked terrible and was a watermark for most the effects of the whole film. It's telling that by far the best looking effect of the film is one that was done using traditional effects rather than low grade CGI. As the death day approaches the victim starts to hallucinate creepy people watching them, ruined by fake looking effects put over them. If something looks like it was created on a computer it's not going to be an effective scare.

The main plot is kinda silly and has been explored before, I keep mentioning The Ring but it is pretty much identical plot wise, even having the same twists which is a real shame. One Missed Call is creepy, it succeeds I just wish originality had been used., There is a damn creepy ring tone used for the missed call, I have set this as my real ring tone, it is cool despite the startling lack of original ideas. That's another thing; everyone in the film owns the exact same type of phone...surely not a freaking licencing deal? Apparently in the world of One Missed Call there is just the one type of mobile!

The acting is ok, the only stand out performance is by television psychic Ted Summers (played with conviction by Ray Wise of Twin Peaks fame). Characters have the usual film trope of oh so quickly getting over the death of friends, Edward Burns as the detective is bland, bland, bland while Shannyn Sossamon as Beth does a passable impersonation of any hundreds of other horror movie heroines but brings nothing new to the role at all. The plot is silly and makes even less sense than the films it copies but is watchable at least.

I may check out the Asian original at some point to see if that is any better but for now, unless you have not seen the far superior The Ring then there is not really much here worth seeing.

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The Last Exorcism Part II (2013) - Horror Film Review

I quite enjoyed The Last Exorcism, I thought it was an interesting take on the possession tale and really enjoyed the curve ball the film threw the viewers at the end. I was surprised when this sequel was announced though. Where the original was created as a documentary this is a straight up traditional horror.

After a very bad recap of events of the first film we find Nell in a state of extreme shock and with no memory of the events that have happened to her. Some time later and she is living in a shelter for women slowly rebuilding her life when strange events start to occur, mysterious people stalk her, she has horrific nightmares and hallucinations. The demon that tried to possess her in The Last Exorcism still wants her and is determined to make it so.

For the most part Part II is kinda boring, I had the entire cinema to myself and found myself texting a friend halfway through, not paying much attention to it. A lot of the scares come from the tried and tested jump category, they never failed to make me jump but when this is the only way a film maker is able to create fear you know they are doing something wrong, just look at Sinister to see how to make a real terror that gets under your skin.

Ashley Bell as sheltered teen Nell does a good job but the similarities between her and Sissy Spacek's role in Carrie are quite close and they even have a similar character arc which is a tad distracting. Other characters are not so great, in fact there isn't a single memorable character other than a great turn by David Jensen and E.Roger Mitchell as two odd ball psychics who sadly get small screen time.

The film has 'exorcism' in the title yet the actual exorcism takes up less than ten minutes of screen time and comes far too late, most the film is Nell wandering around trying to lead her life while ghostly visions of friends and family haunt her, and some demon tries to get her to have 'sexy times' with it that must also be an allusion to her sexual awakening happening as she becomes a woman. There are a few demonic possession scenes but these are not anything special with it just being humans given 'demonic eyes' that wouldn't look out of place in your average episode of Supernatural. The ending section is enjoyable enough, though does reach too much for the WTF ending of the first film. It sets itself up for a third film which I really don't think is wise when this film was not that good.

A boring, albeit well shot and directed film about possession that fails to get the blood pounding or the skin crawling. There wasn't really any need for The Last Exorcism Part II to exist.

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Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000) - Horror Film Review

The Blair Witch Project made the 'found footage' genre of horror films mainstream, everyone knows the iconic premise of 3 teens vanishing in the woods and a year later their filmed footage being found. The sequel wisely ditched the found footage aspect, a move that the Paranormal Activity films should have taken long ago.

After the worldwide success of The Blair Witch the town of Burkitsville whose woods that film was filmed in has become a tourist trap with thousands visiting the area much to the anger of the local townsfolk and most specifically the long suffering Sheriff . One such group arrive to go on the 'Blair Witch Tour' led by local resident Jeff. The plan is to go into the woods and visit the locations used in the film. They set up camp at the ruins of Rustin Parr's house. After a run in with a rival tour group they decide to stay up all night to ensure the group don't return to cause them more trouble. The next morning they awake to find chaos. All their cameras have been destroyed, and the work of researchers Stephen and Tristen has been torn to shreds and raining down like snow over the group. With no memory of what occurred in the night the group head to Jeff's wood side house to go through their tapes and discover what happened during their missing hours. This is just the start of their nightmare...

Why all the hate people? I have only ever met one other person on this planet who loves this film as much as me, it is no joke one of my favourite films of all time. I wasn't that big a fan of Blair Witch, it was ok on the first watch but repeated viewings it lost it's impact. Not so for this sequel, every time I see it I see something new. The film much to director Joe Berlinger's anger was vastly changed on the cutting room floor creating a really chopped up, messed up feeling. Throughout the film there are quick shots of vicious murders as well as scenes of the future with the group in Police custody. As it progresses clues unravel to the events that have happened.

The key hook of discovering what has happened to the group in their missing hours is a great plot device that creates some genuine creepiness and has a great pay off. Though not a found footage film it still has plenty of handheld cameras, as Jeff comments at one point 'cameras never lie'. The whole mystery of the film is left to viewers interpretation. That the group are newly met and don't know each other leaves ambiguity for just what sort of people they really are, lot of mysterys!

Now there are some pretty terrible effects used I must admit. The ghostly children who appear throughout the film have terrible makeup on them, the scenes of violence don't look that great either but the locations are fantastic. The woods are used sparingly with most the action taking place at Jeff's house that is a converted mill. This place manages to be more creepy than the woods themselves, would love to live somewhere like that! Special mention has to go to the soundtrack. The introduction with Marilyn Mansons 'Disposable Teens' playing out as the camera sweeps over the woods inter cut with close ups of people being killed is genius, other tracks such as Queens of the Stone Age playing over a drunken montage is also just perfect. The score by Carter Burwell is fantastic also, the signature tune is sublime and the score is chock full of drums and wind instruments evoking a feeling of the woods that seeps everywhere.

Blair Witch 2 is almost a perfect film, one that stands up to repeated viewings, has an astounding soundtrack and is a hell of a ride. Before you judge it give it a view, you may just fall in love with it like I did.

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ZOMBIES Stole My Liquor! (2012) - Zombie Horror Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)

Ok, now at least this game has a different look to it. ZOMBIES Stole My Liquor! goes for a retro look and sound to it, it evoked feelings of old computer games when I first started playing.

Starting off in a square you play as some blocky guy with a gun who must locate a bottle of alcohol via a giant arrow. Once you have the alcohol you must return it to your base where you can use money to buy new weapons and then repeat to infinity.

If not for the controls this game would be fun. The controls are terrible! Your character controls like a tank making it frustrating to turn around as you are forced to go in big circles, especially annoying when you miss your target and have to go a huge circle to get back to it, being hit by zombies all the while. The zombies are blocky and die in a satisfying retro style but when the controls are this broken there is little enjoyment to be gotten.

It may look and sound different but it is at it's heart another over head shooter that cannot hide it's core blandness.

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Zombies, Zombies Everywhere! (2011) - Zombie Horror Videogame Review (X-Box Indie)

Oh goodness me, another day another darn X-Box Indie channel zombie game review. Zombies are numerous on the indie channel as they don't need any A.I to speak of, here it is no different. I have to say my review is based on two goes at a 40 second demo so do take that into account.

The game is played from a fixed first person perspective. You are in a fantasy style world with huge red and blue mushrooms either side of the screen. From the distance groaning zombies walk forward, using an antique looking double shotgun you blast them away to stop them reaching you.

I assume you get access to a variety of different weapons to battle the zombies with. The controls are a bit twitchy for my liking. The zombies are as bland as always even if there is a bit of variety, they are more cartoony than realistic. The title screen has some decent horror music but for the game itself it is just unmemorable filler.

Not an exciting game, this does nothing to stand out from any other number of cheap zombie games, hard to recommend in the slightest.

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Camping (2013) by Mike Eshelman and Alex Levasseur - Horror Comic Review

Camping is a short 20 page indie comic from DustBunnies comics. Originally it was planned as a short film but adapted to comic book form as it was felt it would be better suited.

Three men have gone hunting in the woods but have gotten lost. They sit around their camp fire drinking beer and talking about how anyone could have gotten lost and how they will be rescued soon enough...but is everything as it seems?

This isn't going to be much of a review as I can't really say too much without ruining the surprise. The tale would feel perfect in a horror anthology and has a great last few pages twist to it that was the perfect icing on the cake. At first I thought the text was a bit off but there is reason for that, and the extreme close ups of objects and the characters gives a slow reveal. The black and white art is well suited and the dialogue is actually well written.

Camping can be purchased for download or physical from the Dusk Bunnies Comics website here for $1 or $3 respectively. Good stuff!

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The Prospector's Curse (2013) - Short Horror Film Review

Back at the start of 2012 I posted some news about a Canadian made Western themed horror short titled The Prospector's Curse. This has now been finished and I have had the pleasure of seeing it.

Set during the American gold rush The Prospector's Curse follows two criminals on the run from a nearby settlement. 'Tubby' Ellsworth has murdered a man sleeping with a prostitute he was in love with, while Jack is a confidence trickster. While up in the mountains they encounter a dying prospector who begs the two men to give him a Christian burial and to also deliver a pouch of gold nuggets to his soon to be widow. Greed takes over the two men and they instead leave his body to rot and decide to find the source of the gold. However at night the spirit of the prospector comes to haunt them in revenge for their broken promises.

This is a fifteen minute short that while clearly not on a huge budget manages to create the atmosphere of the wild west, it has a fantastic Western theme playing through out and the actors all look the part with their clothes and mannerisms taken to levels of stereotype that gives it a comfortable feeling. Johnny Quinn; a Quentin Tarantino lookalike is fantastic as the swindler Jack, while David Roberts as Tubby brings some comedy to his role with his anger management issues. The Prospector himself is well made up to give him a disgusting look.

The Prospector's Curse is not a film I would call creepy, scary, or horrific but it is a decent enough morality tale. Where the film succeeds is its embracing of all the Western tropes that give it a warm feel and got me in the mood for some of the Western classics. It is true that some of the acting is a bit off, and the closed locations reduce some of the sense of scale the genre is known for but this was an enjoyable fifteen minutes that I am glad I got to see. The trailer can be seen here.

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